Nationalism As A Service (NaaS)
Is Microsoft a company comprised of diverse progressives that coincidentally empowers nationalism, its government entities, its political candidates, and its right-wing propaganda outlets or is it a company with a plurality of nationalists that is acting accordingly?
There is currency in appearing progressive and woke in this day and age and manufacturing this appearance is the body of work that all PR people are tasked with. But it’s important to remember it doesn’t take a PR specialist to tell the truth; anyone can do that. Generally speaking, PR is a critical component of corporate Machiavellianism and PR people are skilled in the art of manipulating and bludgeoning the truth to polish a public image, lying if you will, and it’s wise to assume that the inverse is true of whatever PR says because of this; hence why so many already take what PR says with a grain of salt and assume that they’re terrible people. And this is especially the case when PR specialists are employed by monopolies.
With this in mind though along with the fact that FAAMG monopolies (Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, Google) are perpetually trying to establish themselves as progressive entities filled to the brim with employees that are as liberal as they are diverse via exhaustive PR campaigns, I’m forced to question whether the inverse is true of this as well and if there is a plurality of conservatives, republicans, incels, qanon weirdos, magats, proud boys, and the like, nationalists if you will, within their ranks instead. So let’s pick on Microsoft like always and see if my PR Inversa hypothesis holds up.
In order to advance this armchair hypothesis of mine into the realm of theory though, I feel that it’s important to first highlight that if these companies were tuly brimming with egalitarianism and diverse progressives throughout their ranks as they suggest in their mission statement and fluff articles then we would see ample evidence of them actually behaving in a more progressive fashion. Among other things, we’d also see added transparency and a track record of being more receptive to progressive ideas and the like too, but none of these emergent properties of progressivism seem to immediately evident upon further inspection.
Unsurprisingly, anyone that has worked at Microsoft can confirm that they operate in an authoritarian or mafia-esque manner when evaluating their structures and hierarchy from the inside. Of course, some internal employees may disagree with this, but few can recall the last time that they voted on anything meaningful instead of simply being told what to do. I spent 5 years there and I don’t recall a vote about anything substantial.
Not only does Microsoft have a strict and authoritarian chain of command which rarely gets broken and meets anyone that falls out of line with an iron fist, but their very structure also functions as a hedge against unions and seldom have to resort to traditional union-busting tactics because of this. As a result, FAAMG monopolies are virtually union-proof with their workforce diversified through a coctail of internal employees and vendors distributed through countless contingent staffing firms which function as organized labor shelters. If you think unionizing one company with endless resources and the wealthiest people in the world running them is hard, then imagine unionizing 100 such companies simultaneously; basically impossible. None of which lends credence to their progressive narrative given the importance of labor unions to said narrative. Strike 1.
Much like any criminal enterprise, transparency and speaking to the press are heavily frowned upon to say the very least. Whistleblowers and people pushing for changes on ethical grounds are swiftly removed from their ranks like melanomas while PR people are the only ones allowed to speak to the press. Everything is on a need -to-know basis, password protected, encrypted, and wrapped in a bow of security clearance. And they seem to have a penchant for recruiting from the CIA, NSA, DOD, and the like; they’re the only people who can obtain the clearances to manage the JEDI and other dedicated government infrastructure; but I hear it’s difficult to work for such entities without being a nationalist or sympathetic to nationalist causes.
Heck, with Frank Shaw, their head of PR, being a former marine and graduate of the Department of Defense Information School (DINFOS), it’s safe to assume that Microsoft is leveraging military grade PR tactics too. And upon accepting this, it’s safe to assume that whoever is structuring these monopolies is more influenced by The Art of War and Mein Kampf than anything that Noam Chomsky has written. Strike 2.
Further and when evaluating Microsoft employees on their individual merits, trends emerge and these companies do not appear to be the GAP commercial that they claim to be either as any quick trip through their weird open offices will reveal. Instead of the multicultural utopia we’re often sold by PR people and their stenographers throughout the media, it’s often a binary of white, often American, and Asian men hiding behind an outlier rainbow of tokenized PoC, women, and foreigners; almost like some weird form of corporate blackface. Nice try, but Strike 3.
Their ranks are also clearly divided politically, just like the rest of the country, but their desire for blind loyalty leads them to favor those prone to zeal, idolatry, and herd think, loyalty if you will, during the candidate selection process which these aforementioned nationalists are vulnerable to falling prey to. Meanwhile, corporate whistleblowers and others deemed disloyal tend to be blacklisted from all of these companies regardless of their competencies.
While their various PACs indeed funnel money to both sides, they also seem to funnel a disproportionate amount to right-leaning candidates and authoritarian causes that expand the use of predatory surveillance, AI, and right-wing agendas; even after the presidential election and the January 6th riot. And that’s only when they aren’t lobbying for stripping employees of even more of their rights, benefits, and earning potential. But hey, they blogged about protecting the elections, it all evens out right?
When is the last time you’ve seen Microsoft or any other tech monopoly lobby for better worker protections and less of an Orewellian state like a group of actual progressives would do? Never? Unsurprisingly, you can often find them lobbying against the best interests of individuals and the societal whole like your average nationalist, almost as if it’s some emergent property of having a plurality of said nationalists throughout their ranks or something. Strike 4.
And still to no surprise, you can even find countless instances of monopolies harboring these loyal nationalists throughout their ranks if you know where to look. At Microsoft, they have internal message boards on Yammer and distribution lists in Outlook/Exchange that are dedicated to these aforementioned nationalists, their delusions, their paranoia, and their resultant conspiracy theories. At one point in time even had an internal gun club (msgun) that was 20–30,000 members strong distribution list (almost all gun nuts are fervent Trump supporters mind you); only removing said groups when their existence is revealed so as not to threaten their elaborate progressive narrative. In 2000 alone though, msgun donated $100,000 to the NRA which Microsoft matched and they only got bigger since then.
Most recently in late March though, Microsoft deleted another wannabe 8chan board on their internal Yammer site, presumably due to looming outrage, which resulted in an incel engineer meltdown that later digressed into them trash-talking me of all people for reasons that escape me; as if a bunch of white nationalists disliking me wasn’t a compliment or something. While flattering after all this time, that’s strike 5.
Adding insult to injury, Github, a subsidiary of Microsoft recently fired a Jewish employee for warning their peers about nazis on January 6th while turning a blind eye to employees saying that Nazis gave the jews free healthcare; only offering to reinstate the fired employee after the atrocity of it all was made public. Strike 6.
But wait there’s more. With a plurality of antiquated and deranged white nationalists dominating your organization your organization, it often goes overlooked that it requires a gaggle of bonafide Stepford wives to comprise their HR department in order to keep these dimwits installed throughout their ranks. These people don’t just have a habit of voting against their best interests and act normally otherwise throughout their life. Au contraire, they consistently act against their best interests throughout their lives and keeping the nationalist brigade of cement feathered birds employed while militantly chasing their opposition and victims out of the company is a full-time job that Microsoft pays handsomely for. None of which should come as a surprise though upon considering that Kathleen Hogan, their chief of people, is a Harvard grad of all things; you know that place with the stellar ethics record whose graduates aren’t consistently destroying the world from every possible angle and ruining work for everyone. Strike 7.
Despite these nationalists being mainstream with their conspiracies, ignorances, pathologies, and degraded capacities which most definitely limit their ability to function at the largest software company in the world/only software company left in the world, they still have the utmost job security without even having to apply for ADA protections that any other delusional demographic would have to obtain in order to keep their job in such a privileged and secure environment. Something tells me that a progressive organization wouldn’t be so accommodating of such demographics despite their obvious mental illness. If anything, they’d likely be put on medical leave, forced into an independent medical evaluation, and fired if they refused. Strike 8.
As if this were not bad enough, you can also see all of these FAAMG monopolies sycophantically competing against each other to outfit low brow government agencies with their services and wares like it’s their führer. So far as I can tell, there is nothing that our government can do that would compel FAAMG to withdraw or restrict service to any of its entities. For example and even though using Microsoft products to harm or endanger children is expressly forbidden in their terms of service, you can’t find a branch of the KKK…err DHS that isn’t standardized on their ecosystem despite their blatant and consistent human rights violations. So far as I can ascertain, ICE and CBP could be eating immigrant babies on live TV every night and Microsoft still wouldn’t flinch at offering them their suite of productivity tools and services; the same goes for GitHub.
ii. Don’t engage in any activity that exploits, harms, or threatens to harm children. — Microsoft Services Agreement
Microsoft also doesn’t seem to take issue with offering services to misleading propagandists such as Fox News or Newsmax just the same as agencies mentioned above. Presumably, Newsmax and Fox are also standardized on Windows and Office on top of Office 365 as there’s little to no draw to Office 365 without Windows and Office necessitating its demand, rendering Microsoft analogous to the central nervous system of right-wing propaganda just the same. Strike 9. For what it’s worth, Google hosts email for several right-wing propaganda sites too.
All said, this progressive narrative perpetuated by Microsoft, FAAMG, or any other monopoly for that matter is unequivocally false. You just don’t have to spend billions of dollars to tell the truth; it’s the lies, spin, and confusion that costs you. Not to mention the whole thing about it being impossible to be a progressive entity and monopoly simultaneously, let alone a monopoly functioning like gasoline on an authoritarian bonfire or a megaphone in the hand of a populist like Microsoft. But that’s the whole point of propaganda, to get you to believe nonsense like this and it works.
Talking through both sides of your mouth is a thing, especially among the wealthiest of us and their companies. This Machiavellian approach of seeming good but being evil is the standard throughout FAAMG, Microsoft, or otherwise, just as it is throughout the rest of the world. But even this really isn’t news as this is already the default assumption of many throughout the tech space albeit on its fringes. Seemingly, the only people with the audacity to lock horns with this default assumption of PR being paid liars or the reality of there being a plurality of white nationalists throughout the ranks of monopoly tech are those that have their livelihoods entrenched with said monopolies; employees and journalists alike; anything for Tesla though am I right?
But if you’re waiting for a bunch of 6 figure nationalists, supremacists, and monopolists to identify as such or confirm any of this then you had better pack a lunch. One of the many maladies of ignorance-fueled delusions is that they aren’t self-actualized; actions made in ignorance are involuntary. These delusions are why nationalists, supremacists, and monopolists seldom identify as nationalists, and supremacists, and monopolists and give the shocked tucker carlson confused face whenever it’s implied instead. Although there are many kinds of delusion, they all defend themselves the same way and you can see the hallmarks of these defense mechanisms in their petulance and primitive rhetoric in response to such realities just like every other delusional person that’s forced to look in the mirror.
“But Mitchel! We have an Indian iMMIGRANT for a CEO! We can’t be a company of white nationalists! PWned yOu LIb!” — Cum-brained Redmond Incel
Ah yes, who can forget dear Satya; that guy. One problem with monopolies is that their founders are often replaced by ineffectual figureheads while slowly deferring decision-making power and rule to their corporate counsel. Past a certain point, understanding acquisitions, managing public images, and navigating legal grey areas become more important to monopolies than actual leadership and engineering qualities at their highest ranks; whether that’s requisite of becoming a monopoly or a consequence of becoming a monopoly is irrelevant to this discussion. That said, it’s safe to say that Brad Smith is the true head of Microsoft while Satya merely functions like some sort of figurehead or corporate Bindi; corporate bindi-face?
Who do you think kept Satya out of the limelight and under wraps after his flub at the Grace Hopper Convention where he told a room of women to trust the system instead of asking for raises and advancement? Whose department do you think curates Satya’s mailbox, maximizing his plausible deniability, and keeping him in an information bubble where he can pretend to be a detached ideologue when it suits him? Who do you think works on his image with fluff articles, get ghost-written books, and all matter of cushy savior propaganda; none of which existed in any capacity prior to being named CEO? Who do you think has HR keeping these people installed in the company while running out their opposition? Hell, who do you think bailed them out of their antitrust woes? Why do you think Satya is never surprised by interview questions and is only thrown softballs? Brad Smith baby, that’s who and why😘.
While the CEO position has changed hands several times, Brad Smith’s role in the company has only increased exponentially and is to the point where he is both wearing the pants and leading the dance while Satya is wearing the skirt and doing what he’s told. Brad is so powerful that he seems to have a millionaire for an indentured servant in Satya. Similar is probably true of Sundar Pichai and Google but I cannot speak from firsthand experience. As much as they try to run on their merit, the reality is that no one even knew who they were before being name CEO nor do they have any real background in the duties required of a CEO at this scale for that matter; those qualities aren’t requirements of figureheads.
When given the spotlight to speak on nationalism, Brad Smith had this to say:
“Nationalism has been a growing force…there is a greater focus by many governments on how technology can first and foremost serve the needs of their own people. That’s a fact of life. And obviously, everyone that works in the technology business needs to think about it.” — Brad Smith
That said, his opinions on nationalism are most definitely inconsistent with a typical progressive, especially one at the head of a supposed progressive corporation. However, I would expect similar opinions on nationalism from the likes of Halliburton and Lockheed Martin which also tend to err on Nationalism.
Back to Satya and when measured by his actions and history, Satya is just as bought into their corporate culture as anyone else. After all, Satya has almost a 30-year long-established history of not questioning a single thing that Microsoft has ever done, profiting immensely from their terrible behavior in the 90s and 2000s. Yet you expect him to change everything now after he’s been hyper-rewarded for this behavior for decades and at an age where we’re at peak change aversion?
We seem to like to forget that Satya comes from a culture known for its caste systems and was a beneficiary of these caste systems due to being born into a high up caste with a father working in the Indian Administrative Service. It’s no coincidence that he gravitates to, thrives in, and perpetuates a caste system here in corporate America too; it’s what he knows. The only problem with said caste systems, Microsoft, India, or otherwise is that it isn’t the cream that rises to their top ranks; quite the opposite. Satya is no exception and neither is Brad Smith, hence why both need so much PR in the first place.
Meanwhile, the notion of Satya being some transcendent guru who fixed Microsoft on day one because he’s an Indian is actually quite racist in itself. As if Indian men, especially executives or monopolies, can’t be morally bankrupt or something even though there are plenty of examples of this in India and everywhere else in the world. You can’t find a philosopher within their ranks yet you think they’ll put a legit Hindu in their top spot? Get real. As if a proper Hindu would work with and arm the likes of ICE, CBP, DHS, CIA, NSA, DOD, Fox News, and News Max like it’s their religion, let alone work for world-destroying FAAMG monopoly?
But Mitchel! I acknowledge there are some white nationalists among our ranks, but I’m not one of them! I’m a trans woman and a devout progressive that just so happens to work at a FAAMG monopoly. -Progressive Monopoly Employee
Wong Again. Just as it’s hard to claim to be a die-hard leftist when working for the likes of Halliburton or Goldman Sachs or a pacifist when working for the likes of Academi, it’s an equally laughable statement coming from the employee of a monopoly to claim a liberal and progressive allegiance and this is especially the case when said monopoly functions as the central nervous system and primary means of communication for every entity standing in the way of social progress such as Microsoft.
It almost goes without saying, but you can’t be a progressive while exhausting your passions and world-class skillsets at world-dominating organization that serves racist, xenophobic, and nationalist causes for 60 hours a week; voting occasionally won’t offset this. As stated before, there are many kinds of delusion and it doesn’t matter your religion, gender, age, or gender; if you’re employed by a FAAMG monopoly then you’re probably just another hypocrite shitting on your heels like everyone else around you.
All of the actual progressives either quit in disgust when they acknowledge the grift or ultimately get fired when they stick around and throw their arms in the gears for a bit.
But Mitchel! <insert FAAMG monopoly here> isn’t a monopoly! -Cum-brained Redmond Incel
In summary, it should be abundantly clear that the inverse is true of whatever a PR department happens to be peddling, especially from the PR department of the preeminent monopoly of the Information Age that Microsoft is or any of the FAAMG monopolies. This includes their narratives about being egalitarian, progressive, left-leaning, diverse, inclusionary, ethical, feminist, and humanitarian organizations. It’s all bullshit, hogwash, and a corporate Santa Clause.
What makes more sense? Microsoft being a monopoly where their PR people don’t spin the truth that’s full of left-wing progressives but coincidentally provides its fleet of services to what can best be described as the axis of evil/the antithesis of everything that progressive values stand for? Or Microsoft being a company with a plurality of white nationalists happily serving white nationalist causes as consistently as the planetary motions while spending billions to present itself as being seen as the inverse of this; no differently than Theranos or these insolvent gig economy scams have done in the past? I mean, where else besides Microsoft do you think these aspiring monopolies learned this behavior?
Let’s not forget that Machiavellian corporations are a thing. Corporate blackface is a thing. Figureheads are also a thing, especially in the absence of founders, hence Satya’s position as CEO. And contrary to Microsoft’s progressive narrative, they are most definitely brimming with white nationalists, white supremacists, proud boys, incels, conservatives, magats, frat boys, NRA goons, and their tokenized sympathizers at the moment which confirms my PR Inversa hypothesis and advances it to the realm of theory.
None of this should be surprising though. Seemingly, the only people desperate and gullible enough to eat up the lies that slither down the leg of a PR person are sponsored content journalists, billionaires, and people stupid enough to work for monopolies in the first place; whether they’re intentioned nationalists or fake progressives is of little to no consequence.
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